Miles Apart, Always There: How to Care for a Parent and Their Home From Afar

One in four Americans are currently caring for a parent and their own children under 18 according to the Pew Research Center. If you are one of the “sandwich generation,” you likely have added stress and strain trying to make everything happen. The average caretaker spends 17 hours per week caring for someone they don’t live with. If your parent lives more than 30 minutes away from you, the pressure is even greater. Use these five strategies to make the most of your valuable time and ease the burden of caretaking.

1. Get digitally organized.
   Use technology to store important documents you may need access to from work, home or on the go. I highly recommend trustworthy.com, which is considered a family operating system. Family members, attorneys and other advisors can have different levels of access to view insurance policies, financial information, share passwords and all kinds of things you might deem important. Add key contacts for your parent’s neighbors and service providers and upload annual maintenance contracts. While you are at it, make sure you have Legacy Contacts and Inactive Contacts set on every phone in your family. If Keep originals in a fire-safe lock-box in a known location. getting organized is overwhelming, an After Loss Professional can do it for you.
2. Autopilot everything you can.
   What you can to help plan maintenance and your own home and your parent’s. Did you know 29% of Americans never change their furnace filter? Yuk! This is very hard on your HVAC systems. Use regular deliveries, “subscribe and save” or automated ordering for furnace and air filters, smoke detector batteries. These are wonderful maintenance prompts. From my own personal experience, I can say that smoke detector batteries never die in the middle of the day. Have softener salt delivered and put in the brine bin. There are a multitude of tasks you can put on autopilot.
3. Use a Daily Money Manager (DMM) to pay bills and watch for fraud.
   A DMM manages everyday financial tasks like paying bills, organizing taxes, managing budgets, reviewing medical and insurance statements, and monitoring for fraud. They make sure expenses are handled on time, accounts are accurate, and important paperwork is in order, easing stress. A DMM is not a financial advisor an investment broker. If you are retaining a DMM for your parent, consider hiring them to help you, too! Time is one thing you’ll never get back. I personally think using a DMM is some of the best money you can spend.
4. Use professional caretakers for seniors.
   Did you know there are people who will spend time with, help with medical or non-medical tasks for your parent? There are caregivers of all sorts and all levels. Be sure to work with a reputable company or non-profit. These care angels can help you access resources as time goes on and needs increase. Maybe your dad just needs someone to assist with the laundry and to take him grocery shopping or meal prep a couple of times a week.
5. Prevent maintenance headaches and crime.
   It is all too common for parents to have a medical event requiring them to go to a rehab facility for an extended period of time. Or maybe they are snowbirds and leave for the winter months. What do you do to keep the home functioning and safe while they are away? Bring in a professional. A home watch professional is someone who will monitor a home, make sure regular maintenance is being done and can arrange to prepare the house for your parent’s return. Make sure whoever you bring in is bonded and insured and provides detailed reporting on the condition of the house and any issues that might arise. A neighbor might not be qualified to handle a problem, nor do you need to worry about them snooping through private files. You already have your own home to take care of, know your limits.

Video cameras and alarm systems are helpful to monitor, but they don’t see everywhere and they certainly can’t smell. Visit the National Home Watch Association to find an accredited provider in your area.

Whatever you do to get through this season in your life, make sure to take care of your health and well-being. Know that it is okay to ask for help and that leveraging professional specialists is not selfish, it’s smart. Be light!

Andrea Marquardt Finck is an organizational curator who is passionate about working with people and their homes to give them more of what everyone wants—time. With decades of experience in financial services, design, building, corporate marketing, and client service with high and ultra-high net worth clients, she is the Founder of  Lightsome Estate Concierge,  Home Watch Madison, and Finding Flow Feng Shui. Andrea is an After Loss Professional, Certified Home Watch Professional and Professional Feng Shui Consultant based in Madison, Wisconsin.